Cleaning up

A HOOVER, pounds 150-worth of foreign currency and a dozen copies of a newspaper I heartily dislike - these are some of the things I have bought in order to travel for nothing. I am a mug for 'free flight' deals. As Hoover found to its cost, and our irritation, no marketing ploy is as effective as the promise of free foreign trips.

So when Andrex began offering two flights for the price of one in return for nothing more stressful than buying two kitchen rolls, I was first at the check-out. Having waded through the small print, I shall not be first at the check-in.

The cheapest flight of the deal is Heathrow to Paris for pounds 130, or pounds 65 per person. But you have to add pounds 2 tax and pounds 23 insurance. So pounds 90 per person does not look such a good deal compared with a fare of pounds 79, including tax, through Nouvelles Frontieres (071-629 7772)

With Andrex, you have to book at least four weeks in advance (more stringent than the most restrictive Apex deal) and stay a Saturday night. The Nouvelles Frontieres fare can be booked at any time and is valid for any length of stay up to six months. If I want to clean up on cheap flights, I will not use Andrex. Does anyone want to buy two kitchen rolls?