How to gatecrash

The Knack: Dennis Pennis invites you to party the night away, with not an invite to your name

Be as inconspicuous as possible: if the dress code is smart, be well-dressed, but not too well-dressed. Blending in is a problem for me, looking like I do - but I always remove my glasses. Avoid publicists - they have clipboards, turned-up noses and are usually called Pippa. Be smiley and happy and look confident - like it would never cross your mind you wouldn't be let in. Avoid cliches such as: "My cousin's mate's milkman has an invite." Talking your way in is impossible.

Stay in the corner of the doorman's eye. He'll be being hassled by other people trying to get in, and getting pissed off. If you don't try too hard, he'll see you looking reassuringly like a real punter, and usher you in. Alternatively, find the back entrance and schmooze with the kitchen staff. A microphone with a cardboard cube around it saying BBC is the best calling card - but only in America. I make mine with good-quality cardboard and Pritt Stick. Spot a gap, be fearless and go for it. When Tom Hanks was in Venice promoting Apollo 13, I saw him walking towards his boat. I grabbed a piece of paper and said to the guy guarding the jetty: "Tom just dropped this, okay if I return it to him?" It was a long shot but it worked - even thought I had a film crew with me!

A new series of `The Sunday Show', with reports from Dennis in New York, runs from 13 Oct until 22 Dec on BBC2. His video `Very Important Pennis Uncut' is released on 4 Nov