Monitor: Quotes of the Week

"I won't be holding my breath for an MBE."

Denise Van Outen, TV personality (pictured), after flashing through a window at Prince Charles

"The assumption that mass equals dilute, dumb and down-market is common but wrong."

David Liddiment, director of programmes, ITV, on popular television

"A father in prison is better than no father at all."

Petrina Khashoggi writing about her father, Jonathan Aitken

"The height of naughtiness then was putting an alarm clock in a teacher's wastebin. Now kids go around stabbing staff and smoking crack, as I understand it."

Bob Mortimer, comic, on his schooldays

"I wouldn't say it was the easiest way to run a marriage."

Mary Archer on her husband Lord Archer's campaign to become the Tory candidate for the London mayoralty