On Tour

It's a 17-year tour, 150 gigs a year. You just can't afford to stop, it's never-ending. Someone once suggested that I have a T-shirt that said 'The set remains the same', with a set list from 1978 and 1993 on it. It's very good at the moment. I did the Astoria last year for my 2000th gig. I had about 2,500 people; they all piled out for the achievement. The live shows almost keep me alive. It has a cottage- industry feel about it - people do expect you to be standing up beside the bar and to be able to buy you a pint of beer. The bigger the gigs the more it's like driving a juggernaut.

I do an amazing amount of one-nighters, a surprising amount of tearing up and down the motorway and getting back at four in the morning. I've got a roadie who is used to catching guitars and being kicked off the stage - it's handy to have someone to abuse especially if you're not going down very well. If I stopped doing it I probably wouldn't be able to start launching myself off very high things again. I once remember diving off a 12 ft PA column onto my hands and lying on the stage and not feeling anything from the neck down - that was quite frightening. The one gig that does stick out was when I did a huge festival in Canada supporting The Police, and they were selling watermelons at the front of the stage. I got absolutely pelted off with fruit. There was an audience of 70,000 and we only lasted half a number. Someone said, 'I've seen people go down that badly, but not that badly that quickly'.

John Otway performs at the Cockpit Theatre, London NW8 (071-402 5081) Monday 25 Jul as part of the two-week Cockpit Comedy Festival

(Photograph omitted)