The week in radio: Heard on air

I've been lulled into an evening sense of somnambulance.

Sean Rafferty On-Air (R3)

(Thanks to reader David McCririck)

If you could have seen Noel's face watching me tap-dancing and singing "Nearer my God to Thee" at the same time ...

Graham Payne

My Life With Noel (R4)

If an actor ever asked him "How was I?" he'd answer "Unbelievable!" Worked every time.

Ditto

The people of the Seychelles are trying to work something out whereby tourists will take all their waste-products back home with them.

Dr Barry Bartman

Small Worlds (BBC World Service)

I wrote and said I can't see out of one eye at all and therefore I can't judge distances, and the other isn't marvellous ... By return of post I got a three-year driving licence and a letter that said, Happy Motoring.

John Mortimer

In Touch (R4)

It does no harm for the lead trumpet to distinguish himself from the crowd by at least flirting with sharpness.

Russell Davies

Jazz Century (R3)

Don't ask me about the 1960s. I was on milk most of the time.

Mark Lawson

Front Row (R4)