The Apprentice: 10 things we learned before candidate Dan Callaghan got fired

Lord Sugar's boardroom really is an education in itself

Richard Woods, Vana Koutsomitis, David Stevenson, Selina Waterman-Smith, Mergim Butaja, Dan Callaghan, Sam Curry, Elle Stevenson, Natalie Dean, Jenny Garbis, Ruth Whiteley, April Jackson, Scott Saunders, Gary Poulton, Charleine Wain, Joseph Valente (BBC)

This year's The Apprentice looks set to keep even the most business-minded of viewers entertained, judging by the first episode.

Nice guy but rubbish salesman Dan Callaghan became the first victim of Lord Sugar's firing finger on Wednesday night, after the 18 candidates were tasked with the slimey, smelly job of buying and selling fish during the lunchtime rush.

Some aspiring entrepreneurs stood out more than others, not least for their fashion and hairstyle choices, and fans learnt some key things about, well, life in general really. Here's what the 10 ten key things we deduced:

It’s possible to be more than simply ‘ambitious’

Self-confessed ‘geezer bird’ Elle is “disgustingly” so, apparently.

If you are a nice person, the boardroom will crush you

Case in point, Dan Callaghan, who admitted before even starting to having made “every mistake in the book of business”. Dan directs a fragrance company and is apparently a maths whizz, but his delay in calculating ingredients slowed down Team Versatile and then he sold a grand total of zero fish finger sandwiches. He deserved to be fired, but we really want to give him a hug.

Dan Callaghan is the first to be fired from The Apprentice (BBC)

Not even bankers will fork out £9 for a salad

“Not for nine quid mate!” one City worker laughed as Team Connexus pushed their ‘artisan’ tuna nicoise salad in his face. No wonder they only made a “disgusting” profit of £1.87. Foolish April, foolish.

Mergim Butaja could be next to go

He tried to sell fish to a vegan restaurant and then got all lippy in the boardroom about his teammates not putting themselves forward for project manager. Mergim did not put himself forward for project manager.

Trying to sell fish to a vegan cafe was never going to end with success (BBC)

Endlessly repeating the word ‘specifications’ gets you nowhere

Brett, we’re looking at you. The builder had secret experience working in a fish shop as a teenager, but still managed to mess up the fish cakes by refusing to make smaller ones when the original moulds proved too big. “But…the specifications!”

There was nearly an Apprentice team called Sugar Babes

But, tragically, Dan’s suggestion was quickly shot down. Far too sexy for Lord Sugar.

Claude Littner will never replace ‘him with the eyebrows’

Lord Sugar’s new aide is scary enough but we already miss Nick Hewer, his Shakespearean asides and those expressive eyebrows that rendered speech pointless.

Ruth Whiteley is a bit of a babe

Sure, her eccentric tartan get-up might not have been to everybody’s taste, but the woman can sell, and she was happy to help Dan out when he struggled, which is always refreshing to see in this cruel, dog-eat-dog world.

Ruth, left, proves herself to be a bit of an unexpected sales goddess (BBC)

Calamari has suddenly become a much-less tempting lunch option

Just looking at that slimy bucket of gone-off squid was enough to put you off it for life, and you couldn’t even smell it through the telly.

Lord Sugar reckons Tinder is a good place to find love

“If I wanted to be loved, I’d go to Tinder,” he declared at one point, giving the dating app a bit of primetime promotion. Whether he’d get many swipes right is another matter.

Catch the second episode of The Apprentice tonight at 9pm on BBC1, when the candidates are faced with a shampoo challenge, then every Wednesday night at the same time.