yesterday was a ...

Good Day for Witch doctors, as the Peruvian football team earned a 1-1 draw with Colombia after Peruvian medicine-men had cast spells to send the Colombian players to sleep. The leading witch doctor put a replica of their rival's star player into the mouth of a skull and chanted "Your're going to miss, miss, miss." He believes that rival witch doctors may have had a hand in Peru's 4-1 defeat by Ecuador last month.

Bad Day for Yuppie rats, following reports by scientists from the United States, Australia and Sweden that the radiation from mobile phones may damage the brain. Research at the University of Washington has identified damage caused to DNA in the brain cells of rats exposed to microwaves similar to those emitted by mobile phones. Possible links are also being investigated between mobile phones and Alzheimer's disease or asthma. t