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Christian Dior Rouge Incorruptible No Transfer Lipcolour

Have you always wanted to scoff cream horns without reapplying your lipstick halfway through? Have you ever ruined a Sunday morning trying to get greasy kiss marks off your posh glassware? Have you ever wondered how Ingrid Bergman managed to snog Humphrey Bogart without leaving half her mouth on his cheek?

Such issues have evidently been troubling the great couture and perfume house Christian Dior, for it has just invented a completely brilliant thing; No Transfer Lipcolour or, in the divinely wicked original, Rouge Incorruptible.

At first I was a bit scared. The pillar box red (there are eight shades, from brown to frosted pink) was a great colour but very matt and dry, which tends to exaggerate imperfections in application. Also, if you make a huge mistake,you have to bugger about with Gentle Lipstick Remover (pounds 10).

I finally calmed down and took my lips to a friend's memorial service, not the place for lots of girly retouching in the loo. Tears were shed, much cake was consumed. When I got home my mascara had disappeared but the lipstick was more or less in place. It had faded slightly but evenly, without the awful outline and nothing in the middle effect.

That night, in foxy babe (with kids) mode, I decided to go to bed with my lipstick. Worried about the pillowcases, I blotted furiously, lay back and thought of modern washing-powder technology. The next morning, the linen was stain-free and my lips had faded to a sexy blush. Pass the cream horns will you, Vicar

pounds 13.50 from department stores and chemists nationwide.

Ruth Picardie