How to get the look: White boots

Very now: Acne's white-suede boots, £380, my-wardrobe.com

Excellent. Practicality first, as usual.

C'mon, if there was an issue with white things being close to the floor, then Persian cats wouldn't have been invented.

OK. At least these aren't stilettoes.

Nope, too TOWIE, too obvious. The beauty of a white boot is that it takes something that you associate with inclement pavement conditions and gives it a nice springtime overhaul. Plus, these white-suede babies, by purveyors of Scandi cool Acne, have a pleasingly resolute plainness that is very now (£380, my-wardrobe.com, above).

Did you say 'white' suede? Elvis's predicament pales by comparison.

Ahem, yes. OK, so don't do any partner-dancing with anyone who has two muddy left feet in these. And for goodness' sake, 'proof them before you hit the street. But unless you're planning to make these your dogwalking go-to footwear, you should be fine.

White suede, sincerely, has no place in my life. Alternatives…

OK, Whistles' Maya gladiator sandals are flat-but-not-too-flat and made from slightly less high-maintenance leather. Comfortable and cool, they will serve you very well this summer (£225, whistles.co.uk).