BMW M4: Genie in the throttle

Sean O’Grady takes this well-built, understated model out on the road and finds that, pricey as it may be, his every wish is its command

You can punt this incredibly capable machine as wilfully as you wish, and all it will ever do is obey your commands (Sean O’Grady)

The great thing about the BMW M4 Competition is that it can make an indifferent but enthusiastic amateur feel like they’re a “proper” driver. It doesn’t take you long behind that multi-function wheel to realise that you can punt this incredibly capable machine as wilfully as you wish, and all it will ever do is obey your commands, all the while accompanied by a symphonic soundtrack from the three-litre twin-turbo BMW straight-six unit.

It’s always communicative. It may be my imagination, or just some clever software, but it feels as if the car is actually always anticipating your next move. Sharp braking (I wanted to check how good they are – they’re flawless) provokes a most insistent growl because your M4 Competition knows that you’ll be wanting to get a move on presently. It’s like having a valet under the bonnet, or a central processing unit allied to responsive mechanicals, attending to your every wish and keeping you out of trouble.

It’s a BMW made in the best traditions of the company, where the quality of the engineering makes everything look and feel just right (Sean O'Grady)

On the motorway, or even on a damp, narrow, serpentine country B-road, you are never ever allowed to get out of your depth. The compulsory four-wheel drive system helps it to make sure it goes where it thinks you want it to go, and there’s no rear-drive-only option for the hooligans/professionals. This is just as well.

The personality is that of a civilised car – grown up. In its standard settings it’s quick but fairly docile, and refined, and you can pootle around town. The M1 and M2 red buttons tactically placed on the steering wheel will instantaneously add noise and performance to your adventures, when the moment is right; and both can be set to your own bespoke tastes for suspension, engine response, steering and so on.

Big bonus? I could bang on about its handling at the limit, but I didn’t take it on a track, and I’m not sure, as I’ve indicated, that it would ever allow me to over-stress it. Instead I need to tell you that this car has the best heater I’ve experienced in recent memory, complemented by toasty heated seats and steering wheel. I’d fancy that it has something to do with that big engine generating so much power, but it was very noticeable how quickly things warmed up, in every sense.

The sculptural carbon-fibre seats are firm, huggy and comfortable – but the big side-bolsters make getting in and out an undignified business (Sean O'Grady)

The huge one-piece screen for dash, satnav and controls was attractive, the Harman Kardon audio system sublime, and the display and the voice controls worked pretty well too. Less welcome? The sculptural carbon-fibre seats, trimmed in my example in a garish, tangerine soft leather, are firm, huggy and comfortable – but the car is low-slung and the big side-bolsters make getting in and out an undignified business. It entirely destroys any sense of “cool” you might possess on emerging from such a “statement” vehicle.

And what statement is that? Well, it’s a coupe, which always means that you’re not so bothered about practicality and value for money – correctly so in this case, as it’s a few thousand quid more than the M3 four-door saloon it’s based on (“less car for more money” is why the manufacturers usually make coupes). That said, I have to add that the little rear seats will fold flat, which adds some versatility to its conventional boot – a hatchback would work better.

The spec

BMW M4 Competition xDrive Coupe

Price: £111,104 (as tested, cabrios start at £61,775)

Engine capacity: 3.0l petrol, 6-cyl, 8sp auto

Power output (hp): 530

Top speed (mph): 180

0 to 60 (seconds): 3.6

Fuel economy (mpg): 28

CO2 emissions (WLTP, g/km): 229

It’s a BMW made in the best traditions of the company, where the quality of the engineering makes everything look and feel just right. It’s not a very beautiful car, to be honest, as most BMW coupes in recent decades have been. So again, it feels traditional – understated, and pricier than it looks.

I often hop into a press car and try to guess how much power it’s packing, how fast it goes, how heavy it is and, of course, how expensive the particular package is. On checking the data this time, I found that some of my impressions were correct – it gives around 500bhp, and does zero to 60 in a few seconds; but it feels far lighter than it actually is – 1.8 tonnes.

It’s also way more expensive – this latest tuned “Competition” version of the M4, albeit with “Track” and a comfort package, pushes its price way past £100,000. A lesser 4-series coupe costs less than half of that. I also didn’t expect the top speed to be 180mph. Just imagine that – and if you can, and it’s not enough, there is also an M4 CS that promises “maximum agility, precision and dynamics for both the road and the racetrack”.

Love it as I did, I don’t think the M4 Competition could quite be said to be stunning value for money, but it comes pretty close, given the pleasure you’ll derive from it. It also occurs to me, though, that its very exclusivity and relative rarity, as well as its outright ability, mark it out as a future classic. In real terms, in a decade or two and looked after, it will probably be worth more than you paid for it. Question is whether you’ll be able to find somewhere that still sells petrol by then...