THE CRITICS: Overheard

I will do anything to be involved with music - anything. There's just one drawback. I can't do music at all, so its a fundamentally tragic relationship.

Simon Callow, actor and writer, about to stage Puccini's Il Trittico, Times

That was a joke. I did it in half an hour.

Nick Cave, singer, on writing music for the soundtrack of Batman Forever, Guardian

I'm lucky. I have a very strong and convenient bladder.

Tilda Swinton, performance artist, on lying in a display case for eight hours at a time, Observer

It doesn't take much to keep an actor happy. You say, "Oh, I saw you in that thing and you were wonderful. Would you like a cup of tea?"

Peter Capaldi, Oscar-winning director and ex-actor, Time Out