Louise Thompson ‘can’t remember’ first five months of her son’s life

‘I was a totally C*** parent and it wasn’t my fault,’ Thompson said

(Getty)

Louise Thompson has reflected on her first year of parenthood after celebrating her son Leo’s first birthday this week, saying that she “can’t remember” the first five months of his life.

Thompson, 32, gave birth to her and Ryan Libbey’s son Leo in November last year, but she suffered life-threatening complications during the labour. She was later diagnosed with PTSD and post-natal anxiety.

In a lengthy post to Instagram on Wednesday (16 November), Thompson wrote that she feels “so privileged” to be able to do “normal borning s***” with her son.

“I’ve had a bit more time for self-reflection and to be honest when I look back over the past year (mainly through images taken) I feel mixed emotions,” she wrote in a caption to a trio of images with her and her son.

“I feel a bit angry, like I want to swear a lot, especially when I look at how glazed over I was at the beginning of his journey on earth. ⁣

“Then I want to cry. I want to cry because I was a totally C*** parent. I really was. and it wasn’t my fault. But it didn’t need to be that way.”

Thompson explained that there was “no connection” and that she “can’t even remember anything for the first five months of his life”, adding that looking back on videos of herself from the time is “quite scary” to see.

“So his first birthday felt as much of a birthday as it was my first anniversary of a new life,” she continued. “A complicated life, but hopefully a fruitful one. But as each year passes it will become less of an anniversary of nearly dying, and instead just a BRILLIANT (and normal) BIRTHDAY.⁣

“Moving forward, I actually feel a little excited about the year ahead. I feel a sense of calm because I know that I can already handle it because i’ve already done one of everything, every day with Leo in our lives.”

The Made in Chelsea star urged her followers to “keep going” even if their head feels “totally lost”.

“If you feel like you have strayed so far from your essence and you’re worried you will never get back to that happy please, give it time. Time heals. Don’t give up. Keep going for you and for loved ones,” she added.

Thompson’s followers were quick to praise the reality star for her honest post, with content creator Em Sheldon writing: “Aw Louise you are honestly going to help so many people by being so real. So so proud of you.”

Another added: “I think you are amazing to share this… so many people suffer in silence… well done.”

Several other followers shared their own stories of complex labours, with one person writing: “I can so relate to your story. I nearly died after having a C-section that I had to fight for.”

“I really struggled with a very traumatic birth of my first daughter as we nearly lost her,” another user wrote, adding: “For the first few years I found her birthday very hard as it felt like I relived the birth and what happened after instead of celebrating.”