Yesterday was a ...

Good Day for inventions, as the European Patents Office celebrated its 20th anniversary. A spokesman revealed that the most commonly requested item among the 31 million patent documents on their database was the sardine- flavoured ice-cream. "No one believes that it actually exists until they've called it up and seen it themselves."

Bad Day for punks as the Malaysian Minister of Education announced that students with spiky or pink hair would not be allowed to attend school. He has also ordered an investigation of punk culture.

Distant Day for lap-dancers as the City Council in Houston, Texas, proposed a new rule that would keep topless dancers at least 3ft away from club patrons.