Have you read the one about...

I know where to go on a Sunday when I want to feel pampered and pandered to. To the newsagent, to flick through the broadsheets and tabloids. I scan the blurbs on the front page for words like "love", "baby", "abortion" (if it is a sentimental day) or "spy", "corruption" or "splattering" if I'm in the mood to think harder. Then I line the newspapers up next to each other and think: which one's trying the hardest to woo me?

The Sunday Times and the Sunday Telegraph usually win. And, according to the latest National Readership Survey, I'm not the only one opting for a person-friendly newspaper. Women are giving earnest-looking newspapers the heave-ho ("read about your Aitken, your Chechen fighters, your cars and your rugby if you have to, darling") and picking up the Sunday Telegraph and the Sunday Times every time. Why? Because these two suitors are playing the game. They are courting us.

This week's offering from the Sunday Telegraph (female readership up by 15.3 per cent) follows the female-friendly formula. First a blurb advertising the heart-rending piece by Dominic Lawson - "My love for our Down's daughter" - born two weeks ago. Underneath, the front page headline: "Major will step down, say Tory MPs".

Next best was the Sunday Times (female readership up 7.8 per cent). Again, a woman-friendly blurb featuring a slovenly blonde, complete with black circles round her eyes, black handbag and black nails. The piece? A feisty slag-off. Empty of content or purpose, but entertaining nevertheless.

The inside stories were readable: the families of IRA victims eager to bury their missing loved ones, Torvill and Dean re-visited, Fergie's friend in a suicide bid, infertile British couples rushing out to adopt Chinese orphan girls, plus the usual column inches on Elizabeth Hurley. Pleasant, light stories inter-dispersed with more heavy-weight news, business and finance. Ideal cocktail for a heady read.

The Observer was the biggest disappointment (female readership down by 5.1 per cent). The broadsheet has recently abandoned its woman-friendly features page. A dour double-page spread has been inserted in its place, on which, this week, the dashing headline ran: "Our Blueprint for Transport".

Here we have a dilemma: yes, we like the idea of well-argued campaign journalism. But do we have to wade through a mire of pomp to find it? Yes, we're willing to leave the frothy tear-jerkers if it is absolutely necessary. But do the readers a favour - make it painless. A bit of sexy packaging wouldn't come amiss.