Like father, like son. But less than you'd think (4): Three days of tears and release

IN 1989 Richard junior took his father to a workshop for men. Its aim was for the men to explore their lives and relationships. This event, though underplayed by Richard senior, seems to have played a significant part in their developing relationship.

Richard (senior): 'A few years ago Richard asked me if I would go to a workshop with him. I said yes, although I didn't know what it entailed. I was asked to talk about my life there. There must have been 20 or 30 participants. I enjoyed it.

I went because I thought it was helping Richard in his work. I don't know how it affected our relationship. I think it's the same, really. We're still pretty close.'

Richard (junior): 'I asked my dad to come, as I thought it would help me get closer to him.

Seeing my dad at the workshop was enormously important. At the beginning I introduced myself and said this was my dad and that I was really proud of him. He said how proud he was of me, something I'd never heard before. I'd always wanted to know what he thought of me and at last I was finding out.

I saw my dad really cry about losing Glenys and Jane for the first time, a subject he never talked about normally. I thought it was all sorted, whereas he spent most of the three days in tears about that and things I didn't know about from the war. He has a very low- key way of talking about himself normally, but for those three days he didn't.

We had an entertainment evening and my dad and I sang songs. I'd never sung with him before. He used to sing when he was young but he never sang at home. Now he sings again, in the church choir. I think he sings because of the tremendous encouragement he got from the men at the workshop.'

Antony: 'Both my dad and my grandad changed as a result. My grandad wasn't that keen on going. I think he did it more to please my dad than for himself.

My grandad had always been reserved, he never really spoke about his life. Since the workshop, he has opened up and we're much closer - because I know more about him. I think he had been bottling things up for a very long time. It was like a weight dropped off him.

My dad and grandad now hug and kiss and seem much closer. And it's even had an effect on me and my dad, because somehow, as he is closer to his dad, he's able to be closer to me.'