A hundred days of ‘missing’ Melania Trump

While Donald Trump has barely been out of the news, the first lady has hardly been spotted. Even after a public show of affection in Italy at the Pope’s funeral this weekend, the couple reportedly went their separate ways the minute they landed in America. Alex Hannaford looks at what is going on

At the end of January, after Trump was ensconced in the White House for the second time, NPR reported that his wife, Melania, would be returning to Washington “with significant experience under her belt”. Anita McBride, director of the First Ladies Initiative at American University, told the station that any past perceptions that Melania didn’t want to do that job were “now erased”, and they played a soundbite of the first lady telling a Fox News host that while “some people … see me as just the wife of the president … I’m standing on my own two feet, independent. I have my own thoughts.”

“One thing’s definite,” the NPR host concluded, “the public is going to be seeing more of Melania Trump.”

But, then, we didn’t. Apart from a public sighting of the first lady at Pope Francis’s funeral on the eve of her 55th birthday this weekend, in the first 100 days of Trump’s presidency, Melania Trump has in fact been conspicuous by her absence.

After the pope’s funeral, where the Catholic first lady wore Dolce and Gabbana for the service, complete with a veil, lace gloves and a diamond cross necklace, the couple went their separate ways as soon as they landed in America. The first lady got into her SUV at Newark airport, while the president boarded Marine One to head to his Bedminster, New Jersey, golf course, with Trump giving his wife a hastily remembered peck on the cheek before he boarded the helicopter.

As son Barron Trump lives in New York City, there was speculation she may have been heading there to spend her birthday evening with him instead of with her husband.

While the first couple did hold hands throughout the pope’s funeral service, this open display of affection was the closest they had been in public for months.

At the 2016 and 2020 GOP conventions, Melania gave prime-time speeches in support of her husband’s nomination. Not so in 2024. When her coffee-table memoir, Melania, was published in October, she gave an interview to Fox News to promote it. But since entering the White House, she’s stayed out of the public eye. A source told People magazine that Melania has stayed at both Mar-a-Lago and the White House, but that she hasn’t spent meaningful time at the latter in an official capacity.

“[Donald and Melania] both live at Mar-a-Lago and have quarters in the White House,” the source told the magazine. “But she leads her own life and joins him when appropriate in either place.”

Nina Burleigh, who wrote about Melania in her 2018 book The Trump Women: Part of the Deal and pens a weekly newsletter on Maga world called American Freakshow, says her absence is by design. It is, she says, a calculated choice that has been made by both Melania and her husband for her to mostly avoid public appearances. Not only is Melania uninterested in a more prominent role as first lady, but she’s also served her purpose in Trump World, too, Burleigh believes.

Since the inauguration in January, the Trumps have rarely been seen together (Getty)

“I have to make clear that this is totally my opinion, but as a long-time observer of the politics of the Maga world and of Trump, of the way they interacted in the first administration, and also from doing my research into her personality and history for the book on the Trump women, I would say that she’s an introvert by nature,” Burleigh says.

“She barely spoke English when they started the first campaign because she spent a lot of time in this little circle with her family – with her mum and dad, and her son [Barron], of course, who has spoken Slovenian since childhood. She lived in this Slovenian bubble, and then they put her out in front of the public. When she had to talk, it was very difficult for her. She got past that, but she’s just not somebody who’s particularly innately suited to campaigning or to public life. She’s happy to not do it.”

Melania’s mother, whom she was very close to, died in January 2024, and Burleigh says Trump himself has little need for Melania to play the doting wife in public any more.

“The second Trump regime has sort of abandoned all pretence when it comes to norms, and especially the norms with respect to women,” she says. “This is a different kind of administration. He doesn’t need to pretend that he’s a good husband and a father. It’s all done.

“The women who are around him want to project toughness. Like Kristi Noem (the Homeland Security secretary), cosplaying wearing a US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) costume, and White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt, who’s just shamelessly spewing bull****. He doesn’t need Melania to be there any more. Putting her out there served its purpose in the first round.”

As second lady, Usha Vance has been ever-present at her husband’s side (Kenny Holston/The New York Times)

Compare this to the high-profile appearances of Usha Vance, wife of US vice president JD Vance. This month, they were posing with their three children, daughter Mirabel and sons Ewan and Vivek, alongside India’s president, Narendra Modi. This was after a trip to Italy a week before, when Vance met with prime minister Giorgia Meloni and Pope Francis a day before his death. A trip by Vance and his wife to Greenland was also in the headlines when Usha was forced to scale back the visit to just one US space base, and not to the capital Nuuk and cultural events like a popular annual dog-sled race, which she had originally wanted to do.

As all these appearances are meticulously planned and highly choreographed, Burleigh now wonders whether we’ll see more of Melania when the $40m Amazon documentary about her life is released later this year.

Melania and Donald Trump attend Pope Francis’ funeral in St Peter's Square in the Vatican (Getty)

Just weeks after Amazon founder Jeff Bezos had dinner with Trump at Mar-a-Lago, shortly after the election, his streaming service was said to have paid an eight-figure sum for a documentary and a limited series about Melania. Both Disney+ and Paramount were apparently outbid. The documentary is being directed by Brett Ratner, a name once synonymous with blockbuster success, but which is now linked to the sexual-misconduct allegations that derailed his Hollywood career in 2017.

Filming has apparently been underway since January, and Amazon said the final cut will offer viewers an “unprecedented behind-the-scenes look” at Melania, who the team insists has a “truly unique story”.

While Burleigh acknowledges that Maga devotees talk about how “women should maybe just sit at home making more babies and let their husbands vote”, she also says she wouldn’t be surprised if we see more of Melania in the next 100 days. As the film buzz begins, she suspects “she’ll maybe come out of the woodwork then”. And if the last 100 days are anything to go by, as the Trump world spins faster and faster, the rest of us can expect quite a show.