The week ahead: 13/06/10

Today

Ignore the other boring teams in England's group and try Germany v Australia instead. Just pray England avoid both in the last 16 because (a) Germany will beat us; and (b) if Australia do, it will be the worst sporting day of my life.

Tomorrow

I think defending champions Italy offer a great each-way bet for punters. They should beat Paraguay tonight. Wimbledon is just around the corner, so Britain's plucky gals prepare for their first-round exits with a traditional warm-up defeat at Eastbourne.

Tuesday

The World Cup has truly started when the boys from Brazil strut their stuff. Tonight they face North Korea, for whom the game could be a matter of life or death.

Wednesday

Will the hosts leave their party early? Uruguay can rain on the Rainbow Nation's parade.

Thursday

It's highly unprofessional but, as a Blackpool fan, it's the most eagerly awaited day of the summer: the Premier League fixtures! Good luck if you want to watch US Open golf. Masters of the universe (TV) have decreed that the final two rounds will finish about 5am (UK time). Cheers.

Friday

Is that a banana skin I can see? England vs Algeria has been written off as a simple three points. But after following the Three Lions for nigh-on four decades, there's no such thing.

Saturday

The future's bright, the future's Oranje. Give yourself a pound for every Dutch fan who is NOT wearing a replica Holland shirt against Japan.