Inside the L’Albereta Chenot advanced detox retreat – where restriction sits alongside indulgence

Designed to soothe and please the senses, this sumptuous retreat makes the process of reducing calories and other pleasures significantly more enticing, says Madeleine Spencer

The indoor pool at L’Albereta in northern Italy’s Lombardy region is covered in 600,000 bisazza mosaic tiles (L’Albereta/Ann Scott Associates)

Think detox, and you’ll probably think of draconian measures dreamed up by a cadre of doctors to push the body quickly into a state of deficiency – lack of food, lack of stimulation and a lack of stress. You may imagine white clinical walls and cold corridors through which you’re ushered from colonics to cryotherapy.

Not so at L’Albereta in northern Italy’s Lombardy region, where the Relais & Chateaux property is home to the Chenot detox programme, and, yes, there may be minimal food for those partaking, but everything else is sumptuous and designed to soothe and please the senses, which makes the process of any “lack of” significantly more enticing.

I flew to Milan’s Linate airport where I was bundled into a car for just under an hour to the L’Albereta, which is surrounded by vineyards in Erbusco. Upon arrival, I had a good nose around, as surely anyone sane does when first getting to their hotel.

Every nook was exactly what you would hope for from an Italian getaway, from the terracotta-hued villas to the more stately edifices dripping in greenery.

Bedrooms are cosy with huge marble bathrooms and sun streaming in the windows; L’Aurum, the property’s fine-dining restaurant, is the perfect place to gaze at the surrounding countryside with a glass of sparkling wine made in the on-site vineyards – and there’s also a pizzeria where you can sample the much-Instagrammed margherita sbagliata. Well, that is unless you’re sticking to the detox.

Here lies either the genius or the fly in the ointment: there will be people you pass who are staying in the very same hotel who aren’t on the Chenot detox. They will be feasting on that pizza and drinking that wine. This might please you; perhaps you want to bring a partner who wants a standard holiday, or maybe you are keen to bookend your detox with some indulgence.

The outdoor pool at L’Albereta, Lombardy (L’Albereta/Ann Scott Associates)

The hotel cleverly offers several dining options to help a little with both sides of the coin, so you can eat your Chenot food either downstairs in the dedicated restaurant or upstairs alongside people ordering from the restriction-free menu.

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I mostly did the former, finding it easier to eat the small portions of food that amounted to a measly 850 calories a day seated near others who were equally as hungry.

In the clear: you’ll never want to leave the property’s indoor pool (L’Albereta/Ann Scott Associates)

Between those rations, there are treatments galore. The combination of disciplines studied by Henri Chenot means you can expect everything from Neurac (neuromuscular activation) therapy that can pinpoint underlying weak points in the body’s musculature, to the daily prescription of hydrotherapy (aka sitting in a bath surrounded by jets), a mud wrap (jump out of the bath and into the mud before being washed down with what’s essentially a hosepipe), and a massage (designed to really get the system going and involving cupping and swishing movements up the body).

La Casa del Bosco, junior suite (L’Albereta/Ann Scott Associates)

The diet and treatments had the desired effect of ridding me of the puffiness that is my bete noire, and making me feel more energised after a hectic few months at work. In fact, I felt so perky by day three that I found myself walking around those vineyards at great speed. As I did, I bumped into a bunch of keen wine scholars who told me about the exquisite quality of the famed grapes, which are highly acclaimed among oenophiles.

That night, I couldn’t resist a glass. It was as delicious as those wine aficionados told me it would be, and I found myself deciding that this melding of detoxing with decadence was a triumph.

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Book it

The Chenot advanced detox programme (6 days) at L’Albereta is €4,990 (£4,202) per person. L’Albereta, Franciacorta offers double rooms from €520 (£438) per night based on two sharing on a B&B basis.