A message to my future daughter

I call myself a male feminist, but you're the one who has the authority to tell me if I am or not. Please learn to love the body and the mind that so many people want you to hate

As your father, I will try to be the best feminist I can be (Getty Images)

Daughter,

In 2015, someone sent a message to fathers across the world. It was powerful, and it spoke on the behalf of every human being born a girl like yourself. It is only right that I reply as truthfully as I can.

First, a warning: I approach this as your white, middle class father. I am not interested in placing myself at the forefront of any movement. I am far too aware of my privilege and the way that my life and experiences are promoted at the expense of your own. My only interest here is to let you know what I plan to do: most of which will involve a lot of listening, as it rightly should.

Though I believe myself to be a feminist – notably that I believe in the advocacy of women’s rights so as to achieve equality between men and women – it will be up to you to decide whether I am or not.

But I cannot deny that there will be certain things that your mother and I will want to be impress upon you.

The first thing, and the most important thing, is about choice. No matter what choice you make in any situation, it must always, and will always be your choice. Across the world today too many women are denied this most simple right. Women and girls are barred from receiving an education, barred from driving, barred from voting and barred from making fundamental choices about their own bodies.

You will be questioned, a lot. The questions won’t always be kind or welcome. You may choose to work a 90-hour week and be called a bad wife, or you may choose to be a stay-at-home mum and be accused of demeaning the ‘movement’.

But whatever you choose, so long as it’s a decision that’s yours, I’ll be happy. As you grow older, you’ll notice the discrepancies between you and I and how our choices work. Has anyone ever questioned me about my decision to work? Of course not. Will your mother be asked that question? I would bet the mortgage she will be.

Choice is the one thing that men and women across the world should never, ever deny you – particularly men who find themselves disproportionately in positions of power and influence. Apart from that, however, I am cautious to offer ‘lessons’ or to tell you what to do. It’s impossible for me to know what you’ll go through, no matter how much I might want to protect you from it.

Be proud of who you are, as a girl and a woman, and love women and men around you equally. Love the body that the media will teach you to hate and the mind that so many will convince you to alter. And for others, take time to consider what is just and unjust, and act accordingly.

Though I am not prepared to promise that my teachings will be any better than your own life experience, I am prepared to promise you that I will work for a future where men and women are seen as equals in every sphere. It’s a tall order, and it will take persistence. But I’m willing to let women like you take the lead - and I look forward to seeing you grow up in a world where your voice will be heard just a little bit louder than those that came before you.

You give me hope that tolerance and fairness will win out in the end.

All my love,

Dad