Bunhill: Thanks, but take a break till 2003

THE Captain was much taken with the threat by George Michael to record no more music until 2003 and the end of his desperately disputed contract with Sony, and got to thinking about silencing other singers. Time for a Captain Moonlight Straw Poll. And so, after assiduous questioning of a very patient sample, I present my list of People We'd Rather Not Hear Until 2003: 1 Rod Stewart 2 Bjork 3 Michael Bolton 4 Take That 5 Max Bygraves 6 Boy George 7 Bad Boys Inc 8 Bryan Adams 9 Cleo Laine 10 John Major 11 Jean Michel Jarre 12 Cliff Richard.

Notes: Interviews conducted at Whitecross and Chapel markets, London. Weather: hot and dry. The Captain feels a personal sadness that there were no nominations for Julio Iglesias. And if you're reading this, Cliff, Colin on the petfood stall in Whitecross Street has promised to give me anything from the stall free if I can persuade you to retire.