quotes of the week

The Mona Lisa is really spoiling the Louvre. People are coming only to see her. She pollutes all around her.

Pierre Rosenberg, Louvre director The window dressing from ministers about involving doctors in management is largely tinsel. Lions led by donkeys have a habit of eating the donkeys in the end and John Major would do well to remember this.

Dr Jeremy Lee-Potter, former chief of the British Medical Association, announcing he is to quit the NHS I think about my funeral and I do not want to be at the end of some queue that is booked in for 2.15 next Friday.

Sir Michael Hordern, actor This is a great cause. These little creatures are 10 days old and hardly know the world exists.

Spike Milligan, with animal rights protesters at Shoreham It is hard to think of any institution, including the Anglican priesthood, that has been improved by mixing the sexes on the grounds of some unheeding American notion of "equality".

A N Wilson, author I want to stay a water carrier and do not wish to become a goat.

George Foulkes, Labour MP, who would change from Aquarius to Capricorn in a 13-sign Zodiac