The long and the short and the ball

There is something strange going on here. Too much soccer causes small balls, according to research done on Italian boys. Young footballing enthusiasts who train hard are more likely to develop varicose veins in sensitive areas - possibly leading to infertility in future.

But football obsession was strong a generation ago, when male infertility was much less of a problem. So what can the explanation be? Well, in short - shorts. In days gone by when stocky footballers wore flapping, saggy knee-length sacks of cloth all was well. Training in today's skimpy nylon is, we suspect, the problem. For the sake of the future of the human race: bring back the baggies!