Kanye West enforces long list of rules for The Life of Pablo performers: 'No fast movements, no slow movements'

Be calm, be strong, be neutral...or else

Kanye West has compared himself to God in the past (Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty)

If you want to be a performer at one of Kanye West’s gigs, you’d better prepare for a seriously tough taskmaster. In fact, you’d better prepare to be even more confused than the world was during The Life of Pablo premiere on Thursday night.

The notoriously egotistic rapper reportedly gave a long list of “performance rules” to his models and dancers and, fortunately for our amusement, it wasn’t long before it found it emerged on social media.

Some of our favourite rules include “no fast movements” followed immediately by “no slow movements” (so just medium movements then Kanye?) and “loosen up no stiffness” before “do not be casual”.

Kanye is not a fan of “sexy posing” apparently and god forbid any of the performers “act cool”. He is, however, totally chill with you “sitting down or lying down” if you get tired. The most important rule of all is “do not break the rules”.

Let’s take a look at the performers somehow managing to follow Yeezy’s strict instructions to a tee:

Naturally, Twitter can’t get enough of this and the jokes have been coming thick and fast:

Based on this, let’s hope Kanye never puts his threat to run for US president into action.