‘Have a safe word at parties’: How to avoid arguments with your partner this Christmas

‘You have to work as a team,’ says relationship coach

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The festive season is upon us. Cue plenty of parties and Christmas chaos, some of which may well lead to disputes with your partner.

As a result, relationships coach Tara Blair Ball has shared some of her tips for resolving and avoiding arguments during the silly season.

The mother-of-four explained that she and her partner, Brian, have a “safe word” that they use at social occasions when they feel uncomfortable and want to leave.

Ball added that she and Brian also try to refer to one another using pet names while preparing Christmas food at home so as to remind one another that they’re “on the same team”.

“In any relationship when something is stressful, it’s you and your partner vs the problem - not you vs your partner,” she said.

“So communicating is so important during the holiday season when there’s so much going on.

“If you maintain a connection it won’t lead to fighting or yelling - but you have to work as a team.”

Ball added that things can get particularly stressful at group gatherings; if one partner feels uncomfortable and wants to leave and the other doesn’t, it could lead to an argument.

As a result, having the safe word in place can ensure you’re both on the same page when it comes to leaving a party.

“Our safe word is ‘shamrock’,” Ball said. “If we’re exhausted and tapped out at a function, that’s like pulling the ripcord on the evening.”

“Brian and I are on the same page with it so it works. Being able to work on compromises is important to make a situation win-win for both people.”

Ball added that it’s important to try and prioritise one another while practicing self-care during the festive season.

“You need to schedule time for the two of you to have planned to be together, intentionally, as a couple,” she explained.

“You need to have time to be together and stay connected.

“If you’re just stressed out and never relax, you don’t enjoy anything. Taking time for yourself makes you a better parent, better elf, better Santa, and better partner.”