Love Island: When does an age gap in a relationship become appropriate?

Love Island may have only just returned to our screens but it’s already sparking controversy with its age gap relationships. So when does an age gap in a relationship become OK? Laura Hampson investigates

(ITV)

It’s that time of year again — Love Island is back on our screens, but it’s already being criticised for its age gap problem.

The reality TV show, which sees single Britons flock to Mallorca for eight weeks in the hope of finding true love (and winning £50,000), returned to ITV2 last week, but viewers have been quick to notice the age gap between two of its contestants.

Comments on social media came after the show’s youngest contestant 19-year-old Gemma Owen — yes, the daughter of footballer Michael — partnered up with Davide who, at 27, is eight years her senior.

In one viral Tweet, a Twitter user called Audrey said it was a “mad” age gap. “19 & 27 is a mad age gap,” she wrote.

Another person called for an age limit to be placed on Love Island contestants, writing: “Love Island really should be 21+ imo (in my opinion), age gaps aren’t anyone’s business when everyone’s proper adults, the problem is a freshly 19-year-old kissing a 27-year-old on television.”

Other’s called the gap “disturbing” and “weird as f***”, and others threatened to complain to Ofcom over the issue.

With Owen’s ex Jacques O’Neill having now entered the villa, fans have picked up on an age gap between the pair as well.

“Jacques is 23 and is Gemma’s ex which means he was 21 dating a 16 year old? Insanity,” one Twitter user wrote.

“Everyone trying to do the math to work out Gemma and Jacques’ age gap when they dated,” another said.

A third added: “That age gap between Jacques and Gemma is wild lmao.”

Age gap relationships are nothing new. Just look at Harry Styles, 28, and Olivia Wilde, 38, or Catherine Zeta-Jones, 52, and Michael Douglas, 77, the latter of whom have been married for 22 years. But when does an age gap relationship go from being inappropriate to acceptable?

“When one partner is very young it can raise questions of the younger partner’s ability to have full agency over their choices,” dating coach Hayley Quinn tells The Independent. “Have they been seduced? What does the older partner see in them aside from physical attraction?”

Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde have a 10-year age gap (Getty Images)

Quinn points to the relationship between Styles and the late Caroline Flack, who sparked controversy over a reported relationship they had in 2011 when he was 17 and she was 31. Yet, a decade on and Styles’ new age gap relationship has hardly raised an eyebrow.

“For a long time no one would have batted an eyelid at an older man with a younger woman; only in recent times has the inverse of this become more normalised, though we still have some way to go to fully accepting this,” she adds.

Quinn added that while someone like Owen, who is looking for love at 19, may sound “young and idealistic”, Love Island is also about a “journey of maturation”. “It’s about self discovery, dotted with the hopes of becoming social media famous. In that sense, having a 19-year-old on the show makes sense,” Quinn says.

Relationships can, and do, thrive with big age gaps

Hayley Quinn, dating coach

The dating expert says that, in the end, age isn’t really an issue if both partners are equals. “Relationships can, and do, thrive with big age gaps,” she notes. “Ultimately whilst relationships with partners in age may be easier to navigate in some ways, if both partners are equals, no one is being objectified, and the connection is there, age gaps relationships can work.”

Quinns adds that an older partner can bring wisdom to a relationship, while a younger partner can bring perspective and “joie de vivre”.

“Ultimately whether a relationship works or not, won’t come down just to having similar ages or backgrounds,” Quinn explains. “It will be about both partner’s working towards a common goal: Both investing in building the relationship, and having natural compatibility in terms of how they like to communicate and how much time they like to spend together.”

So while some people may be against an age gap relationship on screen, if they are both consenting adults and see themselves as equals, in the long run it could be the secret to relationship success.