WHY ARE THEY FAMOUS?; NO 1: HEAVENLY HIRAANI TIGER LILY HUTCHENCE

Main Claim: Media-friendly parentage. Heavenly Hiraani, as she is to be known for short, is the daughter of Michael Hutchence, rock star, and Paula Yates, soi-disant writer-model-presenter-mothercare expert, and was thus saddled with ludicrous name and huge media interest before birth. Mysteriously absent photos of the infant in question have merely stimulated the nation's curiosity. (See Product Merchandise below.)

The Name: This was the cause of heated speculation, since young Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily is fourth in a family of girls with embarrassing names. As If we didn't know, the others are called Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Pixie. "Hiraani" is Michael Hutchence's favourite Polynesian word, meaning "Princess of the beautiful sky". Choosing column-hogging names is one of Paula Yates's most remarked upon talents, along with falling for rock stars, photographing their underpants, and having her breasts enlarged.

Appearance: Blurred lump in baby sling caught by telephoto lens.

The Birth: Easy-peasy lemon squeazy. On 22 July, Heavenly Hiraani, 6lb 14oz, popped out in the bath in a mere four hours. But then Yates has always urged painless, stay-at-home motherhood. "I'm on cloud nine," said Hutchence. "This is the proudest moment of my life. I helped deliver the baby, it was fantastic ... I think I'll do this every year. It was easy." Seems the mother didn't have much to do at all.

Product Merchandise: In a new practice garnering even more money and publicity than the renewal of wedding vows, celebs are flogging pictures of themselves clutching offspring only just out of the foetal sac. In Heavenly H's case, a joint deal with Hello! and the Sun was reported to be under negotiation. However, mysteriously, the Hello! pictures have yet to appear, and the Sun has only printed one picture. The vanishing photos are the object of much rumour.

Prodigal Father: Before he turned into a midwife, Hutchence spent the night on the razz without Paula. With a hellraising reputation to maintain (model courting, photographer threatening), the errant father was out on the town 24 hours before the birth in one of his distinctive floral shirts. He was photographed leaving a London nightclub at 2am with a sneering blonde. Looks like the untamed Antipodean Bad Boy may not become a scrubbed- pine father.

Living Arrangements: In a post-court case volte face, Yates's ex, singer and producer Bob Geldof, decided to let Paula and Michael move into the grand Chelsea pad that had been the marital home before Paula ran off. Though the gaff allegedly had to be fumigated before her birth, Heavenly H will be brought up in some splendour in her half-sisters' father's house.

Fame Prospects: Fairly good, given her over-the-top name. Called Alice or Jessica, she might have faded into oblivion after her Hello! appearance. Her half-sisters are now allegedly frightened of flash bulbs, but with the headlining appeal of alliteration, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence's continuing celebrity seems assured.