Tom Ford on his depression and fear of mortality

'There is not a day or really an hour that goes by that I don't think about death'

Designer Tom Ford (Getty Images)

Tom Ford has given an honest account of depression and his struggle to deal with mortality, describing how he thinks about death every day.

The designer credited with the resurgence of Gucci as a seminal fashion house told the Hollywood Reporter he began experiencing suicidal thoughts as a young child.

“I can remember early thoughts of suicide at eight or nine years old. Those things are often hereditary — people in my family have had that — as is alcoholism, and that's also something I've dealt with," he said.

Being sober for several years helps him manage his depression, but he said he still struggles with thoughts about depression. “That's a very big factor of my life, fighting against that. It's quite under control now. I don't drink — that's an enormous factor. And I am fairly grounded. I have a wonderful family life. I exercise, I play tennis every day, all those little things. Death is all I think about. There is not a day or really an hour that goes by that I don't think about death. I think you are born a certain way. I think you just come out that way.”

Ford, 55, still sees a therapist two to three times a week. “I completely rely on sleeping pills and tranquilisers to go to sleep," he added.

Suicide caused by depression is the leading cause of death for men under the age of 35, a statistic that is often attributed to the stigma surrounding it that makes many feel unable to talk about it.

Ford is one of a number of high-profile men who have spoken about their own experiences with depression. The severity of Stephen Fry’s own depression came to light in 2006 when Fry spoke about being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and his repeated suicide attempts. "I'd never heard the word before, but for the first time, at the age of 37, I had a diagnosis that explains the massive highs and miserable lows I've lived with all my life," he said at the time.

In a comment piece for the Independent, former Downing Street spin doctor Alastair Campbell, who has also suffered from depression, called for a change in the way depression is perceived as a mindset to encourage others to feel comfortable in asking for help.

"Nobody ever gets blamed for getting physical illness – even when those illnesses do result from lifestyle choices – so why on earth do we still talk about depression like it is the fault, and the lifestyle choice, of the depressive? Believe me, nobody who has had it would choose it for themselves, nor wish it on their worst enemy."

Anyone in need of confidential support or advice can contact the Samaritans for free, 24 hours a day, seven days a week on 116 123.