Maybe the secret to a healthy relationship is to have a partner who forgets all about you

While there’s a lot of joy in being with someone for years, knowing all their little habits and foibles, there are definitely things we’d all rather forget

If we forgot our entire relationship, we’d have that fizzy feeling of excitement when they called again (Getty Images)

There have definitely been ex-boyfriends that I would rather forget but how would you react if one day your current other half woke up and couldn’t remember who you were?

This is the situation that Adam and Raquel Gonzales found themselves in one morning when he found himself without any memory of his four-year relationship with her. Rather than panicking, Raquel drove him to the hospital, stayed with him even when he tried to break up with her and started a campaign to reignite their relationship. It’s an incredible story of love triumphing over disaster, but it’s made me think: perhaps we all need a little relationship amnesia?

After all, while there’s a lot of joy in being with someone for years, knowing all their little habits and foibles, there are definitely things we’d all rather forget.

Surely it would be nice to be able to start again back in those days when you thought they were perfect and had no clue that their idea of a fun-packed Friday night was a two-hour debrief on everything they hate about their boss and a good dose of nose-hair trimming? We’d get to see our partner through entirely fresh eyes, and we’d be reminded of the things we loved about them and once again surprised by their uniqueness. Not to mention all their jokes would be fresh.

Plus we’d be able to go back to our early relationship self. The one that never went on a date without having shaved our legs first, who actually listened to what our other half was saying in case we missed the one little detail that unlocked their entire self. We’d have that fizzy feeling of excitement when they called and anxiety when they didn’t.

Most of all we’d have let go of the small hurts and grievances that tend to accumulate over a long-term relationship. Of course, we could all just do this anyway. We could wake up tomorrow and decide we’re going to see our partner for the first time all over again, we’re going to take time to learn about them rather than assuming we know it all, and we commit to ignoring the parts of them that drive us nuts. Even the best relationships can use a little amnesia from time to time.

Harriet Minter is a journalist and broadcaster, and presenter of Badass Women’s Hour on talkRadio