Boris Johnson’s morning interviews: what he said – and what he really meant

Our chief political commentator tries to interpret what the prime minister said during his media blitz today

What Boris Johnson said on BBC Breakfast: First of all, from what I’ve seen of the response in Brussels and I think Dublin, they’re not talking about the proposals that we are actually going to be tabling – this is some stuff that went previously.

What he really meant: They didn’t like our solution to the Irish border problem but that wasn’t our real solution. Our real solution is top secret and totally brilliant and everyone will like it.

What he said: But clearly, this is the moment when the rubber hits the road. This is where the hard yards really are in the course of the negotiations.

What he meant: It pains me to use such dreadful cliches. I pride myself on my inventive use of language, but I’ve got a lot of these interviews to get through.

What he said: We’ve made a very good offer – we’re going to make a very good offer.

What he meant: The offer that we have made, which has been rubbished by the Irish and the rest of the EU, that wasn’t really our offer. They didn’t like that one, so my people are going to have to rewrite it overnight tonight and pretend it is completely different.

What he said: We’re not going to be producing now the proposals we’re going to be tabling in Brussels. Things can get confused. People can needlessly distort what we’re proposing.

What he meant: You see my problem? Every time I put something down in writing, even if the clever civil service people suggest we call it a “non-paper”, these Irish people say they don’t like it and leak it to you journalists and that makes it all very difficult.

What he said: We do think there’s a good solution. We hope that our European EU friends in Brussels, in Dublin, in Germany, will want to take it forward.

What he meant: I do hope that some brainy official will come up with a clever wheeze jolly soon because we haven’t got much time.

What he said: You wanted detail; I could talk about cheese.

What he meant: I am going to take refuge in the small print of sanitary and phytosanitary regulations, because Dan Walker [BBC Breakfast presenter] has complained that I’m filling the time by talking about cattle. That means I must be near the end of this slot. There is light at the end of the tunnel. The sunlit uplands of the next interview beckon.

What the prime minister said on the BBC Today programme: I would like to veil our proposals in decent obscurity until we share them with our European friends.

What he meant: I have not thought of a solution to the Irish border problem in the 10 minutes since my last interview.

What he said: We’ve made progress since the beginning of August, a great deal of progress with our friends.

What he meant: We are going backwards, slowly.

What he said: We are working flat out to get a deal, and believe me I want to get a deal.

What he meant: The prospects of a deal are receding.

What he said: There is a natural limit to the ability of a sovereign state to compromise on things like the customs territory.

What he meant: Please, Angela, Emmanuel and Leo, help me out here.

What he said: We haven’t made any such request [that EU leaders should refuse to give us a Brexit extension]. But they want to get this done as much as we do.

What he meant: I am hoping that my fellow EU leaders will rescue me from this hole. If they refuse an extension, the UK parliament will vote for any old rubbishy deal to avoid a no-deal Brexit.

What he said: I disagree with some people in my family about the direction that we’re going in, in relation to the EU.

What he meant: My brother and sister have always been aggravating.

What he said: Forgive me if I appear stubborn.

What he meant: Thank you very much, Nick Robinson, for asking me if I’m going to change. The focus groups say they like my single-minded determination and sense of purpose.

What he said to Nick Ferrari on LBC: A lot of this is being generated by the current mayor of London who seems to have a lot of press officers.

What he meant: Allow me to deflect a question about my relationship with Jennifer Arcuri. Let me suggest that the claim that I broke the rules on conflicts of interest came from my political opponents – and let’s face it Sadiq Khan is more of a threat to me than Jeremy Corbyn.

What he said: What has happened to Crossrail, which I left in good order? What has happened to knife crime?

What he meant: Bluff, bluster and politics.

What he said: I don’t comment on private conversations.

What he meant: But I am sufficiently annoyed by the idea that Carrie Symonds told me to tone down my language that if you persist I will change my mind and deny that she did.

What he said: I think there is a concerted effort now to frustrate Brexit. I think that’s a mistake. I think it would be very sad for democracy if that were to happen.

What he meant: It would be very sad for me if I turn out to be the shortest serving prime minister in British history.