How a show about toys became an Irish Christmas institution

The first time I described the Toy Show to my English partner, he thought I was having some kind of episode – but 20 minutes in, it clicked: its joy is that it’s so weird...

It’s one month until Christmas Eve, and in Donnybrook in Dublin, chaos is brewing. The Late Late Show is a weekly chat show on RTÉ, the national broadcaster in Ireland. But on the last Friday in November every year, something special happens. It’s Toy Show day.

The Late Late Toy Show began in 1975 as a one-off half hour segment on the wider Late Late Show, and was simply a review of the most prominent toys and books that Christmas. However, over time it became a show in its own right, and is now an annual Christmas tradition.

The format of the show is largely the same, but the length of the show has ballooned into a two-hour-plus extravaganza, and each subsequent year tries to outdo the last in terms of sheer spectacle. It is hosted by whoever currently hosts The Late Late Show – this year is Patrick Kielty’s first run at the gig – but really they’re just there to try (and fail) to keep the parade of wee Irish children in check, who are nominally there to provide reviews but usually just end up going into business for themselves. It is carnage manifest.

The Toy Show is a hard sell, even among some the of Irish contingent. The first time I described it to my English partner, he thought I was having an episode. Twenty minutes in, he was sold, and now it’s our annual tradition.

Look… it’s weird. The kids are up way past their bedtime, their blood-to-sugar ratio is wildly out of whack, and once you approach 10:30pm the energy shifts from “over-excited” to “manic”.

The kids aren’t even the most unhinged thing about it though. That would be Irish Twitter. Although always an enjoyable corner of the internet, some of their best work happens on Toy Show night. Half the country live-tweets the show, offering a running (lovingly mocking) commentary on the set, the kids, and the host.

And there’s so much to comment on. Every year, the show has a theme, which remains a closely guarded secret until a few days prior.  This morning it was confirmed that Elf has been chosen as this year’s theme, with over 170 children involved as “toy testers” and performers.

The show will begin with a musical number related to the theme. The host will sing (singing ability is not a requirement, and often discouraged). And then it descends into a free-for-all, as the kids take over.

The kids are always the highlight. Every year, at least one child is selected by Irish Twitter as a front runner for future president. There’s always a rural six-year-old who grew up on in the countryside and has the soul of a 78-year-old farmer (stop asking him about toys, the toys are fine, leave him alone and let him go back to his cows). At least one kid will break a very expensive toy.

If it sounds like I’m poking fun at the kids, it’s because… well, it’s because I am. So is everyone else. But the big thing about the Toy Show is that there is not an ounce of malice or ill will anywhere near it. The kids are the stars of the show. They are selected by open auditions; the result is a diverse field of talent representing the entire island, and every single child is a character. The show is for them, we’re just invited along for the ride.

The result is an often emotional affair. If you’ve ever struggled with Red Nose Day or Children In Need, The Late Late Toy Show will sneak up on you. As a prime example, in 2020 a teenager named Michael performed a very impressive version of “Giants” by Dermot Kennedy, dedicated to his father who died a few years earlier. Seeing that wee lad’s face when Dermot Kennedy appeared behind him to join in with the second verse is something I’ll never forget, even if I could barely see it through the tears.

Every year a family experiencing hardship is gifted a life changing experience. In 2018, eight-year-old Scott donated bone marrow to his six-year-old cousin Grace who had leukaemia. Members of the Irish rugby team came out and gave them a full Six Nations package, including tickets to a game and a personal invite to the training the day before. Sisters have been flown back from Australia. Entire families have been sent to Disney World in Florida. Ed Sheeran keeps showing up, for some reason. All have been entirely deserving – not just the wonderful kids who should be rewarded, but their poor parents who have been holding everything together.

This year Kielty is at the helm, and all eyes are on him. Kielty has a different air about him; I’m a huge fan and I’m excited to see him take a run at the hardest job in Ireland. Gay Byrne was the original host, and he realised that adopting mild disdain when dealing with the kids produced outstanding results. Pat Kenny was a very quiet man, and the contrast between his mild demeanour amid the unabashed chaos happening around him was something to behold. Ryan Tubridy, the most recent Irish export to London, was an entirely different animal. Every year, he’d start with the detached, sarcastic energy of Gay Byrne, but an hour in he’d have the glassy, faraway look of a man who could only hear “The Sound of Silence” playing in his head. It was pure gold.

With Kielty at the helm, for the first time I fully expect the host to witness the level of carnage being rendered by the children, and raise it. I’m not sure there will be a set left at the end. He has my best wishes, and I hope he has a wonderful time.

So pour yourself a glass of wine, grab your sweets, put on your Toy Show pyjamas, and open up Twitter – because the best night of the year is finally here.